Good Clean Fun & An Act of Kindness

I spent the weekend in KL with one of my best friends and her friend who was visiting from the US. It was meant to be a chill out pampering weekend - an overnight stay at a hotel, leisurely breakfast and just enjoying the sights and sounds of the heart of the city.

And to my delight, the weekend definitely lived up to our plans! Mainly because of 2 separate incidents. We had planned to go to Rum Jungle on Saturday night, because a friend had told me that they have a mean drummer who plays a great set. As we walked towards Rum Jungle, we were exchange horror stories of the recent car hijacking events, snatch thefts and what not. And being just 3 girls walking along the street, we were extra cautious.

Upon arrival at Rum Jungle, we grabbed our drinks and took a seat. Next thing we knew, a couple of Aussie backpackers had approached us to talk. We still had our guards up, because really you can't be too careful these days....but they seemed friendly enough and managed to pull me to the dance floor, leaving my 2 friends behind to chat with the rest.

On the dance floor, there were just lots of people, friendly people, who genuinely seemed like they were just enjoying the dancing. At first I was still on the apprehensive but soon, I realized that these people just wanted to dance, which was definitely fine by me and so we danced! A group of Africans were even trying to teach me some of their traditional dance steps! And we danced the night away - no drugs, no alcohol (well, not too much anyways...) and definitely no sex. Just dancing! And just the way I like it! Good clean fun!

The next day, we were recipients of a really random act of kindness. A lady from Port Dickson offered the 3 of us a ride to KLCC because it was raining!! We were in the same lift, and because it was pouring outside I had suggested we take a taxi to KLCC and she overheard us, and just out of the blue told us she was headed there and would we like a ride?
We were stunned for a bit, our guards up immediately, and we were considering if it was safe. I even asked my friend quietly if she thought the lady would 'take us to go and sell'. In the end we accepted the ride and 10mins later arrived safely in KLCC!

We did so many random things that weekend - talking to total strangers and letting them pull us to the dance floor, accepting rides from a stranger... and yet when you come to think of it, these are simple things. Simple things made complicated because the horrors of society today has made us so cautious and fearful.

A risk was taken with that act - the lady risked her safety to give us a ride, and we took a risk trusting her to bring us safely to our destination. I am not in anyway saying that we should trust everyone we meet. But wouldn't it be nice, to live in a world where you don't have to second guess a person's intentions? Where you don't have to be wary of everyone you meet. Where you don't have to be so suspicious all the time and wonder if the shady looking guy walking next to you means you any harm.

It truly is sad how society has changed us, forced us to put up walls around ourselves, made us so fearful, hostile and violent, and taken out of us the ability and the intention to be kind to our fellow man.
Is this what lies ahead for our future generations? A world of fear and mistrust?

How Much To Give?

"I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right"
~ extracted from Gwen Stefani's 4 in the Morning~

How strange that this song says everything that I want to say right now.

A guy friend once told me that you should never give yourself 100% to another person, because when that person leaves you, you will be hurt so badly. So in order to safeguard yourself, always keep, like say 30% of yourself. Never reveal everything to another person, totally.

Meanwhile, a female friend also once told me that the secret to happiness is to find a guy who loves you more than you love him, as this will ensure that he will 'worship' you.

Maybe I am too naive, maybe I believe in something that doesn't exist. And maybe I haven't found the way to find a balance. But for now, I cannot accept those things my friends have said. Because how on earth do you keep a part of yourself from the person you love? How can you keep a part of your heart locked away, as though you're stashing away some cash, for those 'just in case' days? Is safeguarding yourself from being hurt a justifiable reason?

I do not understand. And perhaps, because I do not and cannot understand this, I am singing that Gwen Stefani song over and over again.

How Vain Are You?

Did this silly fun quiz I read from 5Xmom's site...cos I'm bored even though I know there's this report sitting there waiting for me to read it and make some sense of it....
So yes, apparently I am, quite the vain pot...coming in at 73% just 1% behind 5Xmom!

You Are 73% Vain

You're a little vain, but you also work hard for your good looks. Just remember, everyone knows you are a total hottie. You don't have to remind them.

How Vain Are You?

Well...what to do, in this day and age, so much emphasis is put on how a person looks. And there's the ol' saying that women want beauty, dun want their life. But, as vain as I may be, I refuse to be a slave to fashion (although I must admit I have no resistance whatsoever when it comes to shoes, bags and earrings....). And I sure as hell will not give up food to starve myself into becoming model thin!
In fact...I'm dreaming of tiramisu right now after reading an old entry in Keiko's blog...my oh my, her food photos are sinfully enticing!!!

Bruised Ego

My ego took a mega huge blow today. It's easy to live in denial, to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear on something unpleasant. And so sometimes, when someone says something to you thats so very blunt yet so very true, it's hard to accept. Especially when it touches on something so sensitive and so personal, like how a person looks.

I admit, I have never been model thin. And yes, I have grown a little more horizontal over the past year without my realizing until its rather obvious now.
So yes, while I wish the world could be less superficial, and I wish that people could see that there is more to me than meets the eye, the fact is... that the world IS superficial. And the world is always always going to judge a person first on how they look. Heck, even I'm superficial ok?

So ya lar, I may a nice sweet person and all and a guy may really like me for those qualities, but it also doesn't hurt if I look hot to boot, right? (Guys, admit it!)
I know, people tell me that I shouldn't let this get to me, and that I should love myself no matter how I look. But the world is always going to like pretty beautiful things. And yes, you can argue that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. True. But beauty, to a large part of the population's eye right now feels that beauty = slim and toned.

Oklar... my ego is megaly bruised. But I can't blame anyone but myself. For it is I who let my eating habits go astray. It is I, who didn't put in enough effort at the gym. And it is I, who failed to change my mindset and my thinking. So now, its time for me to face reality...and do something about it!

Expectations vs Disappointment

Another non food topic again today.

Am rather disappointed today, feeling rather let down and neglected by a friend, who had earlier promised to do something for me. But now it seems like he can't fulfill that promise.

I suppose its only natural to feel some disappointment because expectations were there. And its natural to have some expectations of your friends and your family right? And yet, I wonder if I should feel disappointed? Maybe I'm expecting too much, and maybe I should be more understanding of his situation.

But still... it just makes me feel that he doesn't really value me very much. And that's not a nice feeling to have.

So back to my question... am I expecting too much? Or should I be more understanding and just brush this aside?

I understand that when there are no expectations there are no disappointments. But how on earth do you be friends, put your emotions into your relationships and yet expect nothing in return?